Women: Are You Sending Mixed Signals or is Your Guy Just Reading You Wrong?

Oh goodness . . . just hearing some of the stories of friends who are “dating” these days, I wouldn’t wish that situation on my worst enemy.

But who is really at fault here? Is it the guy? The girl? Or both?

Which “Type” Is He?

This might come as no surprise to you if you have spent any sort of time in the dating realm, but two of the most prevalent types of bachelors are either the guys who think that all of the women want him, or the guys who don’t realize that any woman wants him.

A scientific study into this matter was recently published in the online journal Psychological Science, and reveals that men often have quite the difficult time accurately reading  a woman’s level of interest in them.

Details of the Study

For the study, 96 male and 103 female American college undergraduates were grouped together in a speed dating-style exercise that had each person talk for up to three minutes with five members of the opposite sex.

Prior to the exercise, each individual test subject rated their own level of attractiveness and were then assessed for their desire to have a short term sexual encounter.  After each conversation with a member of the opposite sex, the subjects were then asked to fill out a similar survey about the person they just finished talking to, which included similar measures like physical attractiveness and the person’s perceived sexual interest.

What the Researchers Found

From the results, the scientists could conclude four things.  The first is that men who wanted a short-term sexual encounter were more likely to overestimate a woman’s desire for them, which caused them to continue their efforts to seduce the woman.

The second is that men who thought that they were physically attractive tended to assume that the women also thought they were good looking; but on the other hand, the men who were thought of as attractive by the women did not think they were attractive themselves.

The third conclusion was that the more attractive a woman was to a man, the more likely he was to overestimate her interest in him. And the fourth is that women almost always underestimated each man’s desire to be with her, though it is not clear why.

These “surprising” results might not be so surprising if you spend enough time in the dating scene. But it points out why it is usually the overly-confident men who land all the women: the men who overestimate their own attractiveness tend to constantly pursue a woman even though they run the risk of being denied, which in turn can result in more successful encounters.

Whew . . . glad I’m married.

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