Why Men Say No to Sex (Yes, it Happens)

Reasons why men say no to sex.

Relationships. When relationships turn sour because of resentment, anger, or boredom, a man’s sexual relationship with his partner turns sour as well. But these issues may not actually kill his desire. While he may claim he’s not in the mood, the truth is he could be redirecting his sexual energy elsewhere . . . be it through strip clubs, masturbation, porn, or an affair. Life outside the bedroom can sometimes dictate life inside the bedroom.  In other words, a stale relationship can lead to a stale sex life.

Biological. Low male libido can be the result of physical conditions such as heart disease, alcohol use, effects of antidepressants, or a low testosterone level. Once all other factors have been ruled out, a visit to his doctor is in order.

Emotional. There is a direct link between a man’s self image or self-esteem and his sex drive. When one is low the other sinks as well. These days the economy affects so many aspects of everyone’s life. Financial worries, job loss, and the resulting depression can douse the flames of desire quicker than anything. Regardless of how much his partner may reassure him that his financial status isn’t important, he may feel like less of a man.

Boredom. Men tend to place a lot of emphasis on visual stimulation, novelty, and excitement. When his partner begins to feel overly complacent and secure in their relationship, wearing a ratty T-shirt around the house could be just as arousing to her as donning sexy lingerie. But for a man this level of comfort actually works against desire.

Male libido is not a light switch.

We’ve heard over and over again that women need more foreplay than man. But it may be time for men and women to get on the same page.  No matter what you may have heard, male desire is not like a light switch that can be turned off and on just like that. It needs some coaxing and effort too.

So what to do? While it may be tempting to simply give up on sex, that’s not the answer. When a man has lost that “loving feeling” the partner still feeling it has to bring foreplay, fantasy and open communication back into the relationship in order to have a rich and satisfying sex life. It’s been said that sex begins “between the ears” . . . so start talking! Share secret fantasies. Before long those pesky “headaches” could be a thing of the past.