The Top 10 Things You Should Ask before Popping the Question

Are you thinking of popping the question to a special someone in the near future? Whether you’re on your first, second, or tenth marriage (it happens, people!), there are some things you should definitely know about your partner before tying the knot. Let’s take a look at the top 10 things you should ask before popping the question . . .

1.    How’s your credit? Many marriages become strained when bad credit gets in the way of buying a car or a home. Ask your intended spouse to provide you with a copy of a recent credit report so you can know for sure what you’re up against. As a gesture of good faith, exchange reports so your partner will know what your credit situation is in return.

2.    How much debt do you have? School loans are considered to be a “good” debt because education is an investment in the future, but too much “bad” debt—excessive amounts owed on credit cards, car loans, etc.—can affect your ability to qualify for a mortgage and can make it hard to save money for the future. If debt is an issue, seek credit counseling as a couple and devise a realistic plan before you exchange vows to pay off the debt and avoid accumulating new debt.

3.    Have you ever had an STD? Not all sexually transmitted diseases can be seen with the naked eye. Many, like herpes, can lie dormant for years at a time before physical symptoms resurface. Other STDs, such as syphilis, can affect fertility. Offer to go to your doctor or a family clinic to get tested together.

4.    Do you want kids? Some people dream of having a large family, while others simply believe that parenthood isn’t for them. It’s important to ask this question so you can manage expectations and plan when (or if) you might be ready to start having children.

5.    Any history of disease in your family? If you are planning to have children, you’ll want to know if your intended has a family history of any genetic diseases that could be passed down to your offspring. These diseases may include sickle cell anemia, Down’s syndrome, and spina bifida. While these may not mean that you should rule out having children of your own, you should be aware of the possibility so you can consider being tested.

6.    What kind of insurance do you have? If you don’t have health insurance, or if your insurance is less than ideal, you may want to consider being added to your significant other’s plan after the wedding. Also consider getting life insurance if you’re planning on children or if you would have a hard time making it financially if your spouse passed away.

7.    What are your future career plans? Unhappiness with a current job or a desire to go back to school could mean emotional and financial upheaval for a marriage. Also, if you live in an area where job options in a chosen field are scarce, you may have to consider relocating if downsizing or lack of opportunities decreases your options.

8.    What’s your spending style? If your beloved likes to hit the mall for a new outfit every payday while you prefer to squirrel away as much as possible in savings, you’ll want to work out a household budget that accommodates one another while making it possible to reach your long-term financial goals.

9.    Are you taking care of yourself? Is your future spouse going in for regular health checkups? Do they exercise on a regular basis? Is their diet balanced? These may not be deal-breakers, but it’s good to know the status of their well-being. Healthy habits will help them deal with stress, have more energy, maintain a healthy state of mind, and be ready to deal with illness and recover from childbirth.

10.    How do you deal with stress? Some people exercise or pursue hobbies, but many people drink too much or engage in other unhealthy behaviors to cope. If your sweetie falls into the second category, encourage them to find a better way to relieve stress before their habits become a problem during your marriage.

While some of these questions may not be the easiest things to ask, it is important to really know what you’re getting into in a marital or long-term relationship in order to make it last. After all, if you’re going to spend the rest of your life with another person, wouldn’t you want to do everything you could to make it work?