A mother’s wisdom guides us through the tough times in life. Yet, so often when mom is doling out advice, it goes in one ear and out the other. Or does it?
In our continuing series celebrating World Breastfeeding Week, we wanted to take a look at more than just babies. A mother’s bond with her child is most often one that stands the test of time. She loves you more than words can express. So . . . isn’t it conceivable that she
really does know best?
Consider listening to your mother.According to a recent study conducted by Clinton’s Cards in Britain with 2,000 adults, the average mom will pass on 41 “pearls of wisdom” to her children. Everything from “practice makes perfect” to “look both ways before you cross the street” to “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” are insights which we can all thank our mothers for implanting early on.
The study also demonstrates that despite being “all grown up,” 48 percent of adults continue to think the best advice comes from their mothers. Also, seven out of ten adults regularly pass mom’s advice on to their own children, proving that mom’s guiding words are indeed heard.
Mother’s worrisome nature.Author Elizabeth Stone once said, “Making the
decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” Maybe this is why mothers, more so than fathers, have a propensity to fretting over their children. From the moment a woman finds out she is pregnant, the worrying begins.
Unfortunately, the anxiety doesn’t wane once a child enters adulthood. The only thing that varies is
what a mother worries about. Worrying comes with the territory of being a mother and is the antithesis of all the joys that parenting brings. Albeit extreme, some mothers may wish they could keep their children safely tucked away in a tower a la Rapunzel, sparing them from all the dangers of the outside world... whether real or imagined. Although each individual mother’s concern varies in degree, she is instinctively a guide and a protector.
Moms always have our best interest at heart.Let’s face it. That chilling look of disapproval from mom is something everyone dreads. How about those prying questions or lectures about your new “not-good-enough for you” boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah, that’s fun. We may roll our eyes or put up the defense, but deep down we all know… she is probably right. If we take a step back and understand where it really comes from, maybe we’ll have a whole new outlook.
Needless to say, our mothers grew up in different generations with different values and are projecting, as well as protecting, from their own hurts and fears. Mothers may incessantly preach or continuously offer unwanted advice, but it all stems from love. Medical doctor and intuitive psychiatrist Judith Orloff says, “Mothers know quite a bit, so when your mother says 'I don't have a good feeling about that,' I would listen.”
“Mom-tuition.”Is a
mother’s intuition the best mothering tool? Quite possibly, yes. Doctors claim a mother’s intuition is indeed very real, and they believe that the bond commences at conception. "Carrying a child for nine months creates an intuitive bond in utero,” claims Dr. Orloff. Whether a mother has given birth to, adopted, or inherited a child, there is an incredible unbreakable tie.
In the words of Albert Einstein, “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” With all the noise of today’s modern world, it is easy to dismiss the “mom-tuition.” However, it is important for moms to heed those instinctive gut feelings. Nothing compares to that basic interconnectedness of mother/child.
Cutting the apron strings.Mothers see their children, especially their daughters, as an extension of themselves. Oftentimes, they find it hard to let go and want to protect and prevent their children from making mistakes. Mothers simply want to spare them the pain and disappointment that “learning the hard way” can bring. Many people of western civilization believe that in order to create their own identity, they must cut off from their mothers. This is not necessarily true. It is possible to find one’s own voice not devoid of that relationship. It is actually healthy.
So why listen to mom? Because she’s your mother, that’s why!
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Ralston, Jeannie. "Why Moms Worry."
Parenting.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 23 July 2012. <http://www.parenting.com/article/why-moms-worry>.
Sheridan, Patricia. "A Mother's Intuition."
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. N.p., 3 July 2012. Web. 23 July 2012. <http://www.post-gazette.com/stories/sectionfront/life/a-mothers-intuition-245164/>.
South West News Service. "Why 'mum Really Does Know Best': Mothers Pass on an Average of 41 Pearls of Wisdom to Their Children."
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